Can You Be Wildly Ambitious & Still Have Inner Peace?

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The Paradoxical Question

Can you be wildly ambitious and still have inner peace?

I think so.

But I have also been on the other end. The end where you are constantly chasing achievements and no matter what you get, you never arrive at this place of happiness and peace that you crave.

What I realized is that the inner game matters more than anything. If you can’t be at peace right now, nothing you achieve will ever bring you that peace. And having peace doesn’t mean your ambition goes away. If anything, I feel like I am almost more ambitious because of the self-acceptance I have found. I'm allowing my natural energy to flow without constraint or inhibitions. I’m not attached to outcomes. It’s okay if I fail. I do not wrap my identity up in what I achieve.

But how can you arrive at this place yourself? In this newsletter, I explore the intersection of inner peace and ambition.

Attachment to the Outcome

I follow a lot of self-improvement and business ‘gurus’ whose content I like. Except for the idea that you need to struggle, grind, and suffer to achieve your goals. I think it’s utter bullshit. If you aren’t at peace right now, you will never be.

You think you need this thing to make you happy and once you get it, the Ego will convince you that you need something else, something more. It’s a vicious cycle. You end up chasing achievements for happiness and it never arrives.

Joe Hudson (executive coach) even mentions this on his appearance on ‘The Danny Miranda Show’: “I know the CEO’s who spent their whole life thinking that power and money was gonna make them happy and they aren’t and they’re like, ‘oh, shit.’ And that's a common story.”

I experienced this when I originally lost some weight. I thought losing weight was gonna change me, that I was going to become someone new. I lost 50lbs and nothing changed. I still wasn’t happy.

Eventually, I realized my inner world that needed tending to. For some people, losing weight can be a catalyst to shifting their inner world and for others, it might not be. But for me, I needed to work on my inner game.

Once I found peace within, I enjoyed the process of going to the gym. I’m going because I genuinely enjoy it and I know I will eventually achieve my goal if I stick to the process. It’s part of my lifestyle. There is no strong attachment to the outcome. There is a knowing that I will arrive at the goal by sticking to the process.

And this is what the ‘gurus’ that teach this don’t understand. They don’t understand the subtle energetic laws of the Universe. Being overly attached to an outcome is what energetically pushes it away. (I will explore this more in a future newsletter.) This is why I believe you see a lot of people who ‘work really hard’ and do all the ‘right’ actions, but they never arrive at the goal.

Life should be about exploring your curiosities and interests and building on those. Your ‘hard work’ shouldn’t feel like a chore. It should feel like play. It should feel like a game. You should have fun and enjoy what you are creating and/or building.

The more you have fun with it, the more you are in this ‘receiving mode’ where you can receive the insights, inspirations, and “downloads” for the next step. Life almost feels like a continuous flow state. I’m not always in this state, but I feel like I reach it more often.

A few years ago, I took on the challenge of learning to code. I took some online courses, free YouTube videos, and built some minor projects. It was my goal to switch careers. I worked as a line cook (and still do at the moment) and I wanted to earn more money. My mentality was if I switched careers and made more money, I would finally be happy.

Looking back, I can see how I energetically was pushing away this very goal. Every time I sat down to learn to code, it felt forced. I wasn’t doing it because I genuinely wanted to do it.

“Coding is a high-income skill, so I should learn that.”

I was doing it to manipulate an outcome. I was doing it because I needed to make x-y-z happen by a-b-c date. I was trying to escape the life I had. I was trying to be somewhere else. I was never present in the Now.

Look man, don’t get me wrong, wanting a new life for yourself isn’t a bad thing. But why exactly are you doing what you are doing?

Destructive Ambition vs. Healthy Ambition

Ask yourself, are you working towards something because you think when you get it you will finally be happy or does the process of working towards it bring you joy?

Does it energize you or does it drain you?

This question is the key.

When you wake up in the morning, are you excited about life or stressed about everything that needs to be done?

You may not like the job you currently have, but is your work on the side something you enjoy, or is it forced?

Like I said, I’ve tried coding. And when I realized I didn’t want to code and work a corporate job, I looked into online businesses. I tried to do the whole SMMA thing (social media marketing agency) because it seems like a simple business model. (It is a simple model, but it’s definitely not as easy as the ‘gurus’ who teach it make it seem).

This model still wasn’t for me. Sitting down to do the work to build an agency felt like a chore. I was doing it to make more money and be financially free, not because I genuinely enjoyed the process of building an agency. It wasn’t in alignment with me.

If it all feels stressful and draining, then you may be in the destructive ambition category. This is when you are taking actions to manipulate some outcome because you think attaining it will finally make you happy. It will eventually lead you to self-destruct. This is the type of energy that leads people to burning out.

If what you are working towards feels energizing and exciting, you may be in the healthy ambition category. You’re excited by what you’re creating/building/doing, and the process itself is fun. You aren’t overly attached to crossing things off your to-do list and getting somewhere else. There may be a little healthy stress here and there, but it’s not the overwhelming amount that leads to burnout. Life feels like a continuous flow state.

I feel this now with what I’m currently building. I wake up everyday excited about life, excited about what I get to do. Excited about what I’m learning. Yes, sometimes, there is still some resistance to sitting down and writing, but it quickly vanishes once I push past the resistance and actually get to it. Then I get into a nice flow.

Yes, there is some stress because I made a promise to myself (and to readers) that I will release a new newsletter every Sunday. But I would say it’s a healthy amount of pressure. The kind that facilitates growth, not burnout.

This comes with time. You try out a bunch of different things to find the one thing that lights you up inside.

I want to reiterate because it's super important, ask yourself:

Does it energize you or does it drain you?

Peace = Efficiency

Joe Hudson, an executive coach, says ambition and peace are not diametrically opposed in his experience:

“Ambition doesn’t go away when you allow yourself joy. Ambition doesn’t go away when you let go of the critical voice in your head. I’m an incredibly ambitious person.”

“What I’ve noticed is the more peace I have, the more efficient I become. Like I don’t spend f**king 10 hours worrying about something. I don’t beat myself up for something for 6 hours. If I have energy, I’m just doing stuff and I’m not second-guessing, I’m not editing myself. The idea that finding happiness and joy is somehow going to slow you down is ridiculous.”

I couldn’t agree more with this statement. I remember when I was in a terrible place mentally and I would constantly second-guess everything I did. Everything I posted online I would over-analyze before I shared it. I would worry what people thought about it and I needed the likes and comments for validation. Finding my inner peace means I don’t worry about that stuff much anymore. I just do shit.

He also states you don’t have to be hard on yourself to be effective. I would agree. In fact, in every instance where I was hard on myself for not following through with something, it just made things worse. I felt worthless, guilty, etc.

I don’t beat myself up anymore. I simply become aware of what I am doing wrong and correct it. I learn from my mistakes and correct the course. Fell off of what I was supposed to do? Shit happens. I am aware of it and then I move on. Beating yourself up doesn’t change the past. Calling yourself stupid is not gonna help. (Yeah, I’ve been there too.) We all fuck up from time to time. Be honest with yourself, be self-aware, and correct it. That’s all.

Find peace throughout the day by centering yourself. I practice awareness a few times a day. Just being aware of what’s around me or awareness of my thoughts or my breath. Center yourself as often as you can and before each task or segment of your life.

Take your goals off the pedestal. See them as something as achievable as walking to your mailbox to get your mail. You will arrive at the mailbox. There is no question, as long as you keep putting one step in front of the other. It’s a natural process. Learn to see your goals this way as well. The end result is inevitable as long as you stick to the process. There is no rush. This will balance out the energy so you can finally stop pushing away your goals energetically.

Remember, it’s usually not as serious as you make something out to be in your mind. View your work as play, that’s all it is. Play. Life is a video game, after all. :)

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” — Alan Watts

Be satisfied with where you are now while eager for more. A subtle difference in wording but a major energetic shift.

Presence & Gratitude

Danny Miranda has been podcasting for about 3 years now, releasing 3 episodes a week. His podcast has been blowing up recently, which means he’s been getting ‘bigger’ names on his show. He recently had Andy Frisella (creator of 75Hard) on his podcast. One of his guests asked him if he chases those high-flying moments where it feels like you unlocked something new.

His response:

“No, I don’t chase that, but when it comes I appreciate it. It’s a special place to operate from because you’re more present, because you’re not putting things on pedestals. And it’s like an understanding and a deep knowing that where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be.

It’ll come. It’ll all come. Whatever you want to come will manifest and will be reality, but you need to be present to witness them.”

The point is, if he constantly chases the next high-level guest, he’s never really present to this moment right here and now. He won’t be present with his current guest. He won’t be present with any ‘high-level’ guest because he’ll be thinking about the next one. It’ll always be, “let’s get this done so we can move on to the next one.” When you aren’t present, you can’t enjoy what is because your ego is always chasing the next ‘best’ thing.

Practice more presence in life. You can use the centering technique that I mentioned just a few moments ago. Whatever you do, become completely engaged in that task. If you’re working on an article (like I am now) write the article without thinking about the next thing you need to do. Let yourself become completely immersed in the task itself for the sake of the task itself. You’re not doing it because, “I need to do this task because if I don’t, then x-y-z will never happen for me.” No. Let that stuff go. Release your attachment to the outcome. That stuff naturally comes when you aren’t trying to force it into place.

Practice gratitude. Sure, you may be currently working at a job you don’t want to be in long-term, but what are other aspects of your life you can feel good about now? List them out or mentally recite them in your mind daily. Really feel into this feeling of deep appreciation every morning and notice how much smoother your days seem to go.

Even though I’m working a job, I currently don’t want to be at, there is still much I’m grateful for. (At the time of this writing I work as a prep cook).

• I get to work alone.

• I can listen to podcasts while I’m working in the back.

• I like my co-workers. I can talk about basketball with one of them who also follows the NBA as religiously as me.

• My job is one block away from my gym. It saves time commuting.

Practice presence and gratitude daily and notice how your life shifts.

Ring Culture in The NBA

'Ring culture' is a term used in the NBA. It’s the idea that a basketball player is only as good as how many rings (or championships) he has. People will rank the greatest basketball players of all time and if you don’t have a ring, then you aren’t even in the conversation for some people. It seems like if you don’t have a ring, your entire career gets discredited.

In JJ Reddick’s podcast with NBA superstar Damian Lillard (Portland Trailblazers) they touch on this.

Dame:

“I feel like I play for the love of the game. Like I want the competition. I want to know what it feels like to win. I want to see my teammate do well. I want to see my teammates get paid. Like I enjoy the bonding part of it. We spend more time with each other than anybody.

But now it’s like that don’t count! Regular season don’t count! Get a ring!”

Later, Reddick reads a quote from a Portland Trailblazers fan page on Facebook:

“Lillard needs to go for his career to have any chance before it’s too late.”

Dame laughs about it and Reddick mentions seeing variations of this quote on different social media apps and articles.

“It begs the question: how do you measure a successful career?,” Reddick asks.

He continues on to say he had to grapple with the realization that he retired without a championship ring. Realizing this can be tough when you're playing a competitive team sport. That’s what every team in the league is gunning for every year, after all.

“My therapist and I spent a lot of time on it.”

He says he reframed the idea of a successful NBA career by asking himself these questions:

“Did I personally maximize my ability?”

“Did I have great relationships?”

“Did I get to compete at the highest level?”

All of which he answers yes to.

He asks Dame what success in the NBA means to him.

Dame agrees with everything Reddick mentioned.

While he really wants to win a championship, Dame says that he wouldn't be crushed if he retired from the NBA without one. He believes he has already checked off all the boxes for what it means for him to have a successful career.

He's succeeded in making it to the league, maximizing his ability, financial accomplishments, endorsements, friendships, competition, and more. He says he’s maximized it all.

If he won the championship, that would be the cherry on top, but it ultimately doesn’t mean success. He’s still fulfilled if he left the NBA now because of all the things he’s already done within the league. It’s incredibly humbling to see the level of peace this guy has with his career and his accomplishments.

Dame says he doesn’t feel like he needs to prove to anyone that he wants to win a ring because why else would he play? But it’s not the end-all-be-all for him.

“While I understand we play to win championships—we all want to win the championship—we can’t keep acting like nothing matters. Like the journey doesn’t matter. We can’t keep doing that.”

It seems like Dame has a good head on his shoulders. He is incredibly ambitious and obsessed with his craft, but he is also at peace with everything now.

The Joy is In the Journey

Realize that your pursuit is endless. There will never be that one thing you achieve that makes you happy forevermore. As cliche as it may sound, the joy is in the journey.

“Those times when you get up early and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when you don’t feel like working, you’re too tired, you don’t want to push yourself, but you do it anyway; that is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” — Kobe Bryant

The potential your character has in the game of life is infinite. Once you start leveling up, you realize it never ends. That’s why the joy is in the journey, because you never arrive. The game is infinite.

It’s not really about what you achieve but who you become. It’s about how you evolve.

“It's not about the goal. It's about growing to become the person that can accomplish that goal.” — Tony Robbins

I always say this:

Constant evolution should be your ultimate goal.

There will always be something more, some new level to unlock. This isn’t a bad thing. Be ambitious. Zoom out. Have a vision for your life and goals for the next few months to a year. Then zoom in. Focus on winning the day as it arrives. Focus on the process. Be present to the game.

JJ Reddick to Damian Lillard: “I think what fans—and I consider myself a basketball fan—what we want from our athletes, what we want in sport, what we want in competition is like a psychotic level of obsession with craft.. and work.. and competition. And you have all of that—and I respect that, but why I respect you more is because you have all of that AND you have peace, and dude I gotta be honest with you, it’s rare.”

Be wildly ambitious and at peace. You can have both.

— Your friend and teammate, Player 2

‍[Game Over: Thank you for reading. I hope you found this useful for finding the intersection of inner peace and ambition.]

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